Lack of desire for sex - causes and how to increase libido

Reluctance to have sex with a partner is a serious problem that can even lead to separation. It is normal that the appetite for sex is most often the greatest at the beginning of a relationship, and then the desire for sex gradually decreases. However, a severe drop in libido is a perfectly legitimate cause for concern. What to do if your sex drive is waning? What could be causing this?

1. Reasons for the lack of desire for sex in women

Women's appetite for sex is different. Sexual coldness a partner may have a lot in common with:

• excessive responsibility
• physical exhaustion,
• stress (associated, for example, with the risk of an accident),
• relationship problems (for example, betrayal),
• loss of interest in a partner
• no romantic gestures, no foreplay,
• pregnancy - hormonal fluctuations, fear for the child,
• menopause - decrease in hormones,
• diseases are hormonal fluctuations.

2. Reasons for not wanting to have sex

Sexologist prof. Zbigniew Izdebski during the 30th National Discussion on Sexual Health published a report on sexuality, which found that about XNUMX percent. women, she had sex with her partner even though she didn't want to.

Interestingly, this ratio also increases in men (14%). Sex is a physiological need of the body, so why do we avoid it or practice it by force?

Sexologists have identified what can cause a decrease in libido, This:

• disease - the desire for sex decreases when something is wrong with us. Some diseases cause erectile dysfunction and problems reaching orgasm,
• taking hormonal contraceptives and certain medicationssuch as antidepressants or drugs that lower blood pressure,
• SoMa - this is the worst enemy of health, but also of our libido, during stressful situations in the body there is an increase in adrenaline and cortisol, which (especially in women) has a detrimental effect on sexuality, in addition, prolonged stress contributes to sleep problems and depression,
• without sleep - lack of sleep leads to hormonal disorders that can upset our body, when all we dream about is sleep, it is difficult to get pleasure and high spirits during love games. Fatigue increases stress, and the car continues to start,
• depression interferes with your sex drive, in addition, this leads to low self-esteem, complexes and general despondency,
• bad diet - a decrease in libido is affected by the absence of certain ingredients in the diet, we are talking mainly about antioxidants, B vitamins, vitamin D, zinc and selenium, therefore, if fast food and convenience foods predominate in our menu, we may not want only sex, but and any physical activity
• alcohol and stimulants - in moderate doses, alcoholic beverages can promote love because they help to relax and invigorate. Unfortunately, the line between excitement and disappointment is thin. Too much alcohol affects erectile dysfunction and problems reaching orgasm. Cigarette smoking also negatively affects libido.
• hormonal disorders - The most common cause of a decrease in libido is a decrease in testosterone levels. Another dangerous phenomenon is hyperprolactinemia, i.e. violation of the production of prolactin (a hormone that blocks sexual desire).

Sometimes the lack of desire for sex has more complex causes and requires consultation with a specialist. It may turn out that we suffer from hypolibidaemia.

2.1. Hypolibidemia - loss of sexual desire

Hypolibidemia (also known as hypolibidaemia, sexual coldness) is a sexual disorder in which we do not want to have sex. Studies show that the disorder affects 25-37% of women and 11-25% of men in the world. In Poland it is 30 percent. women and 15 percent. men.

How to check if you suffer from hypolibidaemia? There are 3 criteria:

• no sexual fantasies
• no masturbation
• no need or desire for sex.

How to deal with a decrease in libido? Sometimes just talking to your partner and talking about your fears or concerns is enough. Often, the lack of sexual desire is associated with pain during intercourse.

Maybe it is enough to change the position and technique? Or is it worth visiting a specialist? Remember that although a temporary decrease in libido is not disturbing and disappears along with the disappearance of, for example, illness or drug withdrawal, it can be an alarming symptom if it lasts longer.

If somebody he never felt sexual desireor suddenly the desire for sexual intercourse has completely disappeared, he should contact a sexologist.

2.2. Iron - "the more the better" does not work ...

Although we often hear that it is iron deficiency and the anemia associated with it that cause unpleasant and dangerous symptoms, in fact, an excess of this element wreaks real havoc. Iron then accumulates in the organs, damaging them and preventing them from working properly. This substance accumulates, including in the pituitary gland and testicles, which interferes with sexual function.

Iron overdose has been linked to hemochromatosis, a genetic disorder that affects about 1 in 200 people.. Symptoms of the disease occur more often and earlier in men. Women are less likely to get sick due to menstruation.

Iron overload does not only manifest itself in impotence, lack of desire for sex, or problems conceiving a child. The first symptoms include fatigue and weakness of the body, poor concentration, pain in the abdomen or joints.

Untreated hemochromatosis can also cause diabetes, hypertension, arrhythmias, or liver damage (and, as a result, even cirrhosis or cancer). The first symptoms can appear even at the age of about 30 years.

Research shows that if hemochromatosis causes sexual dysfunction, prompt treatment (bleeding and hormone therapy) can reverse it.. It also reduces the risk of further complications, including hepatocellular carcinoma.

How is hemochromatosis diagnosed? A genetic test for a mutation in the HFE gene gives a clear result. It is this change in the genes that is the cause of the disease. Remember, however, that this is a hereditary disease, so if it is present in one family member, it can spread to relatives as well.

3. How to increase the desire for sex?

The lack of desire for sex in women or men most likely has a reason. It is worth considering together what is the reason for the absence sexual appetite. This is the first and most important step in finding the recipe for a successful sex life. At the right time, ask your partner if they have had any problems lately, for example, at work or with health. Be understanding and patient.

The lack of desire for sex in men and women is often associated with an excess of responsibilities. Perhaps the partner works, takes care of the child and the house at the same time, which is why she does not have the strength for evening sex.

Maybe you should unload it in everyday duties? If a man works two jobs to provide the family with the necessary livelihood, his sex drive may also decrease.

Remember to be honest and open about your feelings and level of satisfaction. Perhaps the partner is afraid to speak directly about his needs in bed, feels underestimated and forgotten, because of which he lost interest in sex. Maybe you should encourage him to share his sexual fantasies?

It is also possible that your sexual needs differ significantly, in which case you need to think about how to ensure that one person's needs are met without forcing the other person to do anything. Remember that the need for intimacy is satisfied not only through communication, but also through gentle touches, kisses and pleasant everyday gestures.

A person whose partner does not want sex can often feel rejected, unloved, or sexually unattractive. Remember that the other person can't read your mind, so if you feel rejected and don't communicate that feeling to the other person, they likely won't understand.

If honest conversations with the two of you aren't working, it may be worth enlisting the help of a professional, such as a sexologist. A successful sex life is an important building block of a relationship. Therefore, if this area of ​​​​life does not bring satisfaction and constantly frustrates the lack of desire for sex, the problem should not be underestimated, as the consequences can be serious.

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