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Follow These 7 Steps to Heal Your Inner Self

Most healers have wounds in their souls. What makes them healers is their ability to heal those wounds. Healing yourself is a laborious task that requires you to go back to the source of the wound and feel the pain again. As difficult as it may be, this is the only way to heal and become complete.

Here are 7 steps by John Bradshaw, psychologist and healer, to heal the inner self.

  1. Give yourself the trust you've been denied

One of the reasons for your inner pain is the feeling of abandonment or betrayal. When you feel alone and misunderstood, you get the feeling that you can't trust anyone.

By trusting your wounded part, your inner child will gradually open up and come out of hiding. Trust will make your inner child feel important to you.

  1. Admit your grievances

Stop rationalizing why hurting and embarrassing you was necessary and related to you. Accept the fact that your family or other people hurt you. The reason is not important. They hurt you, that's all. By fully accepting that you have been hurt and that it is not your fault, you have the ability to heal the pain within you.

In addition, you must face the truth that those who hurt you were not bad, and realize that they, too, were just hurt by others.

Follow These 7 Steps to Heal Your Inner Self

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  1. Get ready for shock and hard times

The healing process can be a shock to your mind and body. This is normal because you are used to pushing out the pain you are carrying.

Accept that it may get worse temporarily and move on. Be prepared for terrible things that you will have to face on the way to healing.

  1. It's okay to be angry

Anger is a normal reaction to an "injustice" that has been done to you. Show the anger you carry. Do it in a safe way - write down all the emotions you feel on a piece of paper. Or you can find a secluded place, like a forest, and scream out all the anger in your heart. It really helps.

Expressing anger is useful if you do it safely and do not harm other people. So express your anger, but don't direct it at others.

  1. accept yourself offended

After expressing anger, sadness can come. As a victim, it is very painful to realize that others could hurt you or betray you. And it's okay to be sad. Don't avoid it.

Betrayal or something else that hurt you could lead to the collapse of your dreams or aspirations. It's good that it hurts.

Feel all your sadness, but don't identify with it. Don't try to stop it and it will dry up just like the anger.


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  1. Get ready to feel guilty

You may experience remorse. You can still think about how you would have acted differently. However, you must understand that your pain is related to what happened to you, not to you. Experience is not you. As you look back on the past, experience new emotions as they arise, remembering that they are not you and that you had the right to feel that way.

And remember, even if you could have done something different in the past, it still doesn't guarantee the results will be different.

  1. Get through the loneliness

The wounded are lonely people. Although they can make others believe that they are happy, they cannot deny themselves that they are very lonely for a long time. Perhaps you felt so bad about being betrayed, embarrassed, or abandoned. All these feelings lead to loneliness, and then to a feeling of worthlessness and even uselessness.

To deal with such difficult emotions and thoughts, your ego insulates you from the pain and creates a layer to protect you and pretend everything is okay.

However, you will have to go through the loneliness that is just below the surface, because that is the only way out. Accept all the loneliness that you are hiding, let it become aware of it, let it flow out and release you safely.

You don't feel alone because of what happened to you or because others betrayed you. The essence of your loneliness is that you have turned away from yourself, building up a layer of illusory self to protect yourself from all heavy emotions.

By realizing your shame and loneliness, you will allow your true self to open up, and in the light of its realization, the process of healing all this hidden pain and repressed emotions will begin.

The healing process can take months or years. However, it doesn't matter. Focus on your progress. Focus on the light that penetrates your wounds and illuminates your entire being from within. Then every day will be a day of small victories.

And as you heal yourself, you will naturally know how to guide others in the healing process.