sisterly love

Will my little brother finally become independent?

We have always been close with my brother. As I got older, it was normal for me to take care of him. Even after he got married. Olek is very helpless in life. I wanted him not to get to my wife, so I took on some of the "male" duties. I didn't really interfere in my brother's marriage, although my sister-in-law used this argument when she decided to get a divorce.

I've had bad luck with guys. Sometimes I laugh that it so happened that Olek and I did not part ways. However, I noticed that Olek was used to taking everything out of hand. I arrange things, meet deadlines, pay (not always) bills, leave food ... I do not regret anything, but I would like to hear the word “thank you” at least once. Once, when I was gone for a long time, he brought himself and the house to a terrible state.

Recently, I realized that Olek can count on me in any situation, and I am left alone with problems. I am 45, he is 38. Will my brother ever become independent? Or maybe we're too old to change?

Calm down

Dear Rose,

it's never too late for that. Of course, it would be ideal if both of you wanted to change your relationship. Unfortunately, the brother you serve all your life considers it his sacred and inalienable duty to help you. When you start to rebel or when he feels that you are not trying hard enough, he complains bitterly about your environment, conditions and, above all, about your health, which makes you feel guilty.

The face-up arrangement of the Emperor, Authority, and Priestess cards notifies you that he suffered a head injury as a child, suggesting that you feel responsible for the accident. Without the need. The bruise, of course, did not leave a permanent mark either in the physical body or in Olek's psyche. The Great Ark Zero, on the other hand, informs you that your brother learned early on to take advantage of the situation and manipulate you. And you've gone too far in your defense. Olek's wife didn't lie. Your constant presence and belief that you know best what a grown, married man needs made her feel like an extra in her own home.

Pleased: adopt a dog from a shelter (IX Pentakli) and take good care of it. At the same time, slowly move out of the position of a free servant, a homegrown therapist. In 2021, my brother will find a girlfriend, and by then he better learn to rely on himself. And you too an exercise in confidence will come out forever.