Pathological stubbornness, and how he manipulates! These are Cancers ... in a crooked mirror!

How to recognize a Cancer child? It's very simple - all you have to do is sneak up on a group of preschoolers and stomp loudly. The one who jumps a meter up, starts to growl, hiccups nervously and starts calling for mom - this is Cancer.  

These little Mazgays are afraid of literally everything. Electric sockets, upstairs neighbor, sheepskin coat.

What is Childhood Cancer?

The parents' hands go numb from hugs and strokes, and the brain shudders from the constant repetition of soothing, sweet platitudes. But if he has to, the unspoiled Rachek will soon get fed up with the fact that he's adopted and will sob non-stop until the police show up on the doorstep, called by worried neighbors. Check your child's horoscope.. it can't be torn off. Instead of running around with friends, he spends all day cuddling up in soft toys, following his mom and staring at her. Without a fairy tale, he will not fall asleep, but it is cute and cheerful, because, for example, the Brothers Grimm can be deadly for his delicate psyche. It is better not to buy animals for him, because he will petrify even fish to death. 

Cancer in college won't be easy. 

For him, leaving his home is a tragedy, comparable to deportation to Siberia. It is known that only degenerates and drug addicts live in dormitories, and a one-room apartment rented to the company of a friend from the university will quickly turn into a noisy cave of debauchery and alcoholism. Therefore, he usually lives alone. Doomed to a bachelor's life, he treats every can of tomato brought from his mother as a relic, and at night sheds a sea of ​​​​tears on the duvet cover with his grandmother's starched hand. He doesn't have time for anything because he's still on the phone making sure the family is "all right". He appreciates the company of the crippled, the chronically ill, or even those with a lisp. The city watch considers him a dangerous lunatic, because he now and then rescues from his Samaritan embrace some grandmother selling lilies of the valley, or a frightened homeless man who was kidnapped by Cancer to "offer food and a warm corner." If he has a cat, then without an eye, if a dog, then without a paw, and preferably without two. Such nobility begs for cynical exploitation, so a whole herd of vile pseudo-friends roams around Cancer, shamelessly sucking the last juices out of it. Explore the light and shadows of Cancer. Cancer does not mind - resignedly and for free looks after other people's children and borrows money. Instead of getting angry, he falls into nostalgic lethargy, instead of slapping someone on the lips, he sobs alone. 

But be careful: if you say a bad word about his mother, he will rip out your windpipe with his teeth!

Cancer on the wedding carpet.

Some dream of a Jacuzzi full of naked supermodels, others of a golden credit card and a handsome Lamborghini. Cancer dreams of a wife / husband and countless red-haired offspring. In addition, the average salary in the country, cozy three rooms and a full refrigerator are enough. The Cancer Guy seems like a diehard feminist in their worst nightmares. A romantic traditionalist who made himself known on the third date, with a serious desire for a church wedding and a home dinner, with enviable enthusiasm putting into practice the maxim "every year is a prophet." How does Cancer love?

A pathological stubborn and homebody, he still compares his wife with his mother. He tortures his own children by ordering them to memorize the May 3rd Constitution and the "Mother of God". He will never make a career because he is too soft and conciliatory for this, and the competition gives him stomach ulcers and reflux. An accountant in a family business or the owner of a shop with dusty antiques will show his conscience. But he will not take his family on an exotic vacation, because he is afraid of terrorists and swine flu. Also, they don't serve pork chops with cabbage in Tunisia! 

Cancer Woman is the perfect manipulator. 

Cancer Woman is even worse. Looks fragile and weak. Pissing at the sight of a mouse, the quintessence of femininity, which loses consciousness for any reason, giggles and anxiously clings to the shoulder of her, preferably a much older man. The unfortunate person does not immediately realize that he is dealing with a fanatic of "family happiness", who already at the age of five knew exactly what dress he was going to get married in and which she had to saw off by force from a doll stroller before school. In fact, she could catch guys "getting pregnant", but she doesn't need to. And so they are defenseless before him. 

She shamelessly manipulates the guy with fluttering eyelashes, fluttering dresses and seeming helplessness.

It intoxicates him to such an extent that he declares himself, drags the weeping goblet in front of the altar and entrusts him with all his property. And then he goes proud and convinced that he is in charge! Pathetic. Rachitsa - the queen of the kitchen and the empress of the living room and bedroom - grazes him with gigantic dinners (terribly jealous, and fat men are less successful with women) and demands constant proofs of love. She takes his paycheck, clogs his arteries with cholesterol from whitewashed soups and pureed soups, and constantly has children. 

Cancer and numerous offspring. 

That's right, kids. Numero uno theme when it comes to Crayfish. With the birth of their first offspring, they walk like transgressors. The whole world ceases to exist - blessed Cancers chat, peck and knit mini-socks. They can toss a kid's scrolling number onto a table in an exclusive restaurant, get excited at the sight of a stack, and spit on vegetable mousse like idiots. 

Eternal happiness awaits them, if only to provide them with a steady stream of new offspring. Adult kids will love them. They are dishonestly milked out of the cash register and used for transportation. Cancers, as is usually the case with hypochondriacs, live to a hundred in good health, although significantly overweight. And on the eve of their death, they prepare such a gigantic dinner for hordes of children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren that their teenage great-great-great-grandchildren eat leftovers long after their grandfather's funeral.

Veronica Kowalkowska

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