Affiliate code: before you decide on a serious relationship ... get to know her / him!

When we enter into a relationship, we hope that it will end in marriage, a family, or a serious partnership for years to come. Unfortunately, we often forget that a serious relationship must have a solid foundation, the strength of which only manifests itself at the next level of commitment. So we skip serious conversations, avoid talking about our own needs, because it will be as romantic as everything goes in its rhythm. If we do not analyze compatibility or incompatibility in relationships, then in a few years we can wake up next to a complete stranger, with whom ... we simply do not go along the way in this world.

We have prepared a set of topics for discussion for lovers - the so-called. Affiliate codein which we describe our needs, plans and ideas, and then compare all this with the needs of a partner. The rules are simple - copy the following study into a document and make a copy for your partner. Then, quite honestly, without rushing (even if it takes several hours or days!), describe yourself on specific points and ask your partner to do the same. The last part, topics of conversation, is something worth (and even necessary) to take notes, so that later we can discuss compatibility and inconsistencies on key topics together. After completing the challenge, set up a date and share your codes together.

And if you are not in a relationship yet and it doesn’t even seem that you will be in the near future, process the material yourself. Probably, thanks to him, you will know what kind of relationship you want and who you are looking for in your life.

Ready?

PARTNERSHIP CODE - get to know your loved one

VALUES THAT GUIDE IN MY LIFE:

At this stage, list and expand on all the values ​​that guide you in life and that are important to you. Values ​​are broad terms that can be used to describe a person's lifestyle. For example: love, friendship, faith, courage, work, sex. An almost complete list of values ​​that can be followed in life is here - We agree that from 3 to 10, arranged in order from the most important to the least important, is a sufficient number. Write an extension next to each value so there is no doubt about what the value means to you.

RELATIONSHIP FEATURES:

Here you can describe your ideal relationship. Write down all the characteristics of your relationship and describe each one. Characteristic features of relationships can be friendship, emotional maturity, support, sexual compatibility, sharing of duties, spending time together. It may be extremely important for you to align yourself with your values ​​and life goals. Describe your ideal dream relationship - only then will you know how close you are to a good relationship.

PURPOSE OF THE ASSOCIATION:

What is the purpose of the relationship you want to create? For example, the purpose of a relationship may be the absence of loneliness, marriage, overcoming the hardships of living together, traveling the world, creating a family. It might just as well be fun, adventure, sex, support, home building. In addition, be sure to describe exactly what these goals mean to you so that there is no doubt about it.

MY NEEDS AND WISHES:

In this step, we will focus on your goals - what are your needs and desires that keep you in the best possible physical and mental condition? What are your goals? What are your habits and rituals that you want to keep in your relationship? What do you want to implement in your life? What is important to you during the day, week, month or year? What do you dream about? Name 30 points.

TOPICS FOR DISCUSSION:

At the beginning of a relationship, there are some things to discuss - we won't be surprised when relationships take shape, because they usually come to the fore when we decide to take the relationship to the next level. Therefore, conversations on these topics should be carried out at the beginning of dating, this will allow you to get to know each other and check whether you are going in the same direction, or being with each other will be an endless test. for you and a series of disputes and conflicts.

Topics are divided into categories - each of them is assigned sub-items that should detail this field. We describe our position near each point (one, maximum two sentences). Topics are best discussed in person, but the initial outline of the position will help to stay in touch with ourselves - so we will not tilt our own opinion to please a partner. If there are topics that are not included here, and they are important from your point of view, share the information with your partner and together complete the list with new entries. There are no right or wrong answers. Honesty is absolutely essential. If you don’t know what to answer, ask yourself a sub-question - “What do I think about this?”

I love

• What is love to me?
• How to show love?
• How do I want love to be shown to me?
• Love language (best to take the test! And learn more about it)
• What would I do if my love expired?

proximity

• Partner privacy - what is it?
• time together
• Sex
• Needs
• Tenderness
• Romanticism
• What if we are no longer attractive to each other or sex is no longer satisfying?

Betrayal

• What?
• Borders of contact with others
• Friendship with the opposite sex
• What if there was betrayal?

 Life goals

• What are we striving for as a couple?
• What am I striving for?
• Do we have similar goals and priorities?
• What if we start moving in completely different directions?

General life and finances

• shared apartment
• domicile
• Distribution of duties
• Money management
• Pension
• What if one of your partners becomes seriously ill or has an accident?
• What to do if one of the partners left for another city or abroad?
• What to do if someone has lost their job?
• What to do if there is not enough money?

Homeland

• What is family?
• How important is this in life?
• Do you want to have children? How much and when?
• Wedding
• parental influence
• What if my parents get sick and need care?
• And if an unplanned pregnancy and a child?
• What rituals do you want to perform?

религия

• Confession
• Adoption of different religions
• How about a possible marriage ceremony?

Additional topics for discussion:

• Policy
• Ecology
• Health, nutrition, activity
• appearance
• animals
• Holidays / holidays
• What to do if your opinion has changed on any issue?

If the answers are acceptable, or so acceptable that the other side is willing to take a different stance, then you're on the right track to building a serious, mature relationship...no surprises. It's also a great way to get to know yourself (see more about that :).

What if there are big differences? Then it is worth working on the common part of the relationship, while simultaneously giving yourself space and opening up the otherness of your partner - who knows, maybe over time they will be imbued and become what connects you, and not divides you. It may also happen that this exercise will open your eyes and you will find that in fact each of you is going in your own direction and that traveling together is just a waste of time.

Nadine Lu and Bartlomie Raczkowski

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If you are still wondering what is the most important thing in life, this is a sign that you have not yet realized the Power of Love. And this is a sign that it's time to change it. It is also a sign that these workshops are for you.

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